Category: Ideas & Wisdom

  • Book Review : Roots And Wings

     

    Every parent wants to give nothing but the best to child. 

    I became a father recently. I had my own questions. Will I be a good parent? How do I help my child to become a good human being? How do I help him to protect his individuality ? How do I prevent myself from imposing my values and principles on him? How do I safeguard him from evils of the society? 

    I understand parenting is a big responsibility. But it is a joyous activity as well. I was doing it in my own way. But a few questions remained. 

    One fine day, I happened to notice this amazing book in Crossword. It was titled Roots and Wings – A Handbook for Parents by Raksha Bharadia. Normally, I avoid books with phrases as – handbook, 8 laws of success, How to win deals etc. 

    However, I happened to read the  preface and contents. I somehow liked the book and I bought it. The note on book said: 

    Roots And Wings – A Handbook for Parents addresses parenting conflicts and dilemmas how to manage the thin line between freedom and structure, space and control, being a mentor and a friend, our expectations of the child versus his native endowments. This book is about giving our children roots, so that they can stand firm and wings, so that they may soar and achieve their potential.

     

    As I started reading it, it was clear that I had made a good investment. This was going to be my ‘must-have’, ‘must gift’ and ‘keep revisiting’ books. 

    I liked a lot of concepts and appreciate Raksha’s thinking. Her writing on fostering creativity, free time, importance of childhood buddies, role of nature and sports, dealing with child’s self-esteem – anger – failure were insightful. I liked the idea of giving the child a free time and not overloading his schedule like Dad’s planner. Allowing a child to explore his world is equally important. 

    The tile is very apt. The books speaks about giving the roots to child to stand firm in life. And giving wings to allow the child to soar high in life and achieve the potential. 

    Raksha has done an amazing job. She has helped me to find some answers. The book simply connected !

    The book is not preachy. It has practical tips and ideas how to create a right environment and help child to develop positive self-esteem. It also has rich experiences and quotes from people from all walks of life including Javed Akhtar, Sachin Tendulkar, Kumar Managalam Birla. 

    Roots and Wings – Highly recommended – For parents, new and learning ones !

    Further Reading on Roots And Wings:

    Vedic Mathematics Forum India Blog : Roots And Wings

    Life Positive Review

    Excerpts of Roots And Wings at LiveMint

  • Gandhi in 2009

    Jan 1, 2009 is an important day. All works of Mahatma Gandhi will be copyright free from today. I am sure it will help to spread Gandhi’s timeless and universal messages across the world. 

    Another important event. Gandhi Katha is being held in NavGujarat College in Ahmedabad from Jan 6 to Jan 10. The timings are morning 9 am to 12 am. The 5 day session is something that all people will relish !

  • Winning With Focus & Concentration : Take This Test!

    Winning With Focus & Concentration : Take This Test!

    Delivering world-class services requires special attention and focus. It involves understand the purpose of the task, planning, minimizing re-work and doing it right the first time.

    I have often found that people sometimes act quickly without fully understanding the issue at hand. They do not read the actual lines, forget  reading between the lines. The problem is of focus, concentration and grasping. We are always in  hurry. And haste makes waste, hurry brings curry. It leads to waste of time, missing of deadlines, unhappy customers and frustrated self.

    I have found a small test which is quite smart and effective. It makes the point about being focus and concentrating very quickly. I thank Alan Chapman for this Mental Concentration and Information Processing Test.
    I invite you to take this test and also share it with your colleagues and friends. It is amazing !

    We conducted this test in Magnet Technologies. It brought out interesting results and insights for all :
    1. People were in a hurry to finish first, rather finish. Being first is more important being right. Actually, if the people had read the instructions, they would have been first as well as right 🙂
    2. Spending time on planning actually saves time at execution phase. People who read the instructions and acted on it, saved time.
    3. Many people hate instructions. They do not want to be told what to do. They assume that they know how to deal with the situation. They are already in a particular default mode. All of us have to read every situation afresh and plan accordingly.
    4. The attention span and concentration levels need to be preserved. Avoid distractions – mental and physical.

    A hour spent on planning and focussed approach saves 4-5 hours of total time spent on the task. Multi-tasking is a wonderful thing, but it robs us of the precious focus required for solving important problems and delivery world-class service.

  • Save The Earth : The Story Of Stuff

    Kartik shared the following website with me – The Story of Stuff

     

    The video is remarkably different and creatively presented. Annie Leonard’s concepts and thoughts are beautiful expressed. The most important thing – it makes sense!

     

    Mindless Consumption needs to be controlled. Thrift needs to be encouraged. We have a responsibility towards Environment, Future Generations and Third World Nations.

     

    The Story of Stuff – Highly recommended !

    Also Check – Ten Things We Can Do

  • Life Is Precious..Simple Care Can Help!

    Hi!

    Pratik has recently posted a wonderful discussion with a Fire Brigade Officer. It has wonderful insights and tips. I got lot of knowledge and you will also benefit from it. Read It Here – Chat With Fire Brigade Officer

    Excerpts:

    Talking about safety at our homes he cited the example of most Mumbaikars whose houses are not designed from a fire safety perspective. Most of the houses have the hall, followed by the kitchen and bedrooms behind or adjacent to it. If there is fire in the kitchen, people in the bedroom are stucked. Above all 90% of the people do not have fire exits in their bedroom and whatever window they have are mounted with fixed grills.

    He also talked about lack of planning in police encounters. He said that when police plans for a raid or encounter they do not take a ambulance along with them to foresee any unfortunate incident. He talked about the case of Mr. MC Sharma who sucummbed to the bullets fired at him at the recent terrorist encounter in Delhi.

    More Tips:

    a) One or two members from every house should undertake fire marshall training. It is a one day course but prepares you to tackle fire emergencies

    b) If possible keep smoke detectors and Fire sprinklers at your home/office. They are like your neighbours who will help you first and foremost

    c) Know your escape routes in the event of fire. In an office environment it is must to have fire drill periodically. why only office even buildings and complexes should have them

    d) Cooking area-Never leave cooking unattended. Keep kids away from it

    e) Conceal all your electrical wirings..they are the most dangerous

  • Emotional vs Rational Reasons In Sales

    BNet is one of my favorite online joints. 

    Recently, I came across an interesting post on Sales Machine by Geoffrey James – Do Customers Buy For Emotional Reasons?

    My views on the topic are:

    Everyone acknowledges the role of subjective factors in our decisions. Even financial investments are now linked to behavioral factors. Of, course a great value proposition matters. It is a basic requirement. If you do not give me a good value for my money, I will not look at you – even if you are my good pal or neighbor. However, if my basic considerations are met, I would prefer to deal with a known person. After all, its all about relationships. Sales is a quarter to quarter reality, but relationships help us survive our decades!

  • Micchami Dukkadam – Seeking Forgiveness

     

    Today is the last day of the holy Jain Festival – Paryushan. All Jains seek forgiveness today and the day is marked by worship and fasting across the world.

    All Jains seek forgiveness through sharing cards and expressing ‘Micchami Dukkadam’. The following is one such example:

     

    મિચ્છામી દુક્કડ્મ

     

    खामेमी सव्वे जीवा, 

    सव्वे जीवा खमंतु मे,  

    मित्ती मे सव्वे – भूएसु, 

    वेरं मज्झ न केणई l

     

     

    સર્વે જીવોને હું ખમાવું  છું.
    બધા જીવો મને ક્ષમા આપો..
    આ જગતમાં  રહેલા  સર્વ જીવો સાથે મારે મૈત્રી છે.
    કોઈની  સાથે મારે વેર નથી..

     

    On this auspicious occasion, after the Paryushan and Samvatsari Pratikraman, 

    we wish you all Micchami Dukkadam!  

     

    We ask forgiveness for any harm we may have caused you, 

    by thoughts, words or actions, knowingly or unknowingly.

     

    Micchami Dukkadam

  • Guru Gyan : Bill Gates – Warren Buffet

    Guru Gyan : Bill Gates – Warren Buffet

    Last week, I watched the telecast of ‘Go Back To School’ program on NDTV Profit. It featured the legendary icons of our time – Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. The college graduates asked them questions over a period of one hour. Their answers brought that the rules for greatness and outstanding success in life are simple.

    Here is what I noted after listening to Warren Buffet and Bill Gates:

    1. Follow your passion.

    2. All of us make mistakes. Don’t worry. Don’t repeat the mistake.

    Bill Gates said that he did not anticipate rise of Google/Search. Warren Buffet sold a stock and it rose crazily after.

    3. Get The Best of Out People. Invest in people and trust them.

    4. Learn To Say No – Best Time Management Advice.

    Bill Gates dedicates two weeks for “thinking”.

    5. Invest in Public Speaking Course. Read Faster.

    6. Share with others. Equity is an very important issue in the world.

    Warren Buffet and Bill Gates mentioned that they had got lucky tickets in life. Their thoughts were inspiring and informative. Though these thoughts look very simple, only few understand the wisdom behind these simple principles.

    Listen to The Newspaper Test here!

    Related Link:

    Buffet and Gates on Integrity, Power and Purpose

  • Nelson Mandela’s Leadership Lessons

    Nelson Mandela’s Leadership Lessons

    Recently, I got this wonderful note from Rati Kaka. As an observer of leadership, I was amazed to see the lasting impact Nelson Mandela’s transforming leadership skills. I decided to share this with one and all.

    Mandela: His 8 Lessons of Leadership

    By Richard Stengel

    Nelson Mandela has always felt most at ease around children, and in some ways his greatest deprivation was that he spent 27 years without hearing a baby cry or holding a child’s hand. Last month, when I visited Mandela in Johannesburg — a frailer, foggier Mandela than the one I used to know — his first instinct was to spread his arms to my two boys. Within seconds they were hugging the friendly old man who asked them what sports they liked to play and what they’d had for breakfast. While we talked, he held my son Gabriel, whose complicated middle name is Rolihlahla, Nelson Mandela’s real first name. He told Gabriel the story of that name, how in Xhosa it translates as “pulling down the branch of a tree” but that its real meaning is “troublemaker.”

    As he celebrates his 90th birthday next week, Nelson Mandela has made enough trouble for several lifetimes. He liberated a country from a system of violent prejudice and helped unite white and black, oppressor and oppressed, in a way that had never been done before. In the 1990s I worked with Mandela for almost two years on his autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. After all that time spent in his company, I felt a terrible sense of withdrawal when the book was done; it was like the sun going out of one’s life. We have seen each other occasionally over the years, but I wanted to make what might be a final visit and have my sons meet him one more time.

    I also wanted to talk to him about leadership. Mandela is the closest thing the world has to a secular saint, but he would be the first to admit that he is something far more pedestrian: a politician. He overthrew apartheid and created a nonracial democratic South Africa by knowing precisely when and how to transition between his roles as warrior, martyr, diplomat and statesman. Uncomfortable with abstract philosophical concepts, he would often say to me that an issue “was not a question of principle; it was a question of tactics.” He is a master tactician.

    Mandela is no longer comfortable with inquiries or favors. He’s fearful that he may not be able to summon what people expect when they visit a living deity, and vain enough to care that they not think him diminished. But the world has never needed Mandela’s gifts — as a tactician, as an activist and, yes, as a politician — more, as he showed again in London on June 25, when he rose to condemn the savagery of Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe. As we enter the main stretch of a historic presidential campaign in America, there is much that he can teach the two candidates. I’ve always thought of what you are about to read as Madiba’s Rules (Madiba, his clan name, is what everyone close to him calls him), and they are cobbled together from our conversations old and new and from observing him up close and from afar. They are mostly practical. Many of them stem directly from his personal experience. All of them are calibrated to cause the best kind of trouble: the trouble that forces us to ask how we can make the world a better place.

    No. 1 : Courage is not the absence of fear — it’s inspiring others to move beyond it

    In 1994, during the presidential-election campaign, Mandela got on a tiny propeller plane to fly down to the killing fields of Natal and give a speech to his Zulu supporters. I agreed to meet him at the airport, where we would continue our work after his speech. When the plane was 20 minutes from landing, one of its engines failed. Some on the plane began to panic. The only thing that calmed them was looking at Mandela, who quietly read his newspaper as if he were a commuter on his morning train to the office. The airport prepared for an emergency landing, and the pilot managed to land the plane safely. When Mandela and I got in the backseat of his bulletproof BMW that would take us to the rally, he turned to me and said, “Man, I was terrified up there!”

    Mandela was often afraid during his time underground, during the Rivonia trial that led to his imprisonment, during his time on Robben Island. “Of course I was afraid!” he would tell me later. It would have been irrational, he suggested, not to be. “I can’t pretend that I’m brave and that I can beat the whole world.” But as a leader, you cannot let people know. “You must put up a front.”

    And that’s precisely what he learned to do: pretend and, through the act of appearing fearless, inspire others. It was a pantomime Mandela perfected on Robben Island, where there was much to fear. Prisoners who were with him said watching Mandela walk across the courtyard, upright and proud, was enough to keep them going for days. He knew that he was a model for others, and that gave him the strength to triumph over his own fear.

    No. 2 : Lead from the front — but don’t leave your base behind

    Mandela is cagey. in 1985 he was operated on for an enlarged prostate. When he was returned to prison, he was separated from his colleagues and friends for the first time in 21 years. They protested. But as his longtime friend Ahmed Kathrada recalls, he said to them, “Wait a minute, chaps. Some good may come of this.”

    The good that came of it was that Mandela on his own launched negotiations with the apartheid government. This was anathema to the African National Congress (ANC). After decades of saying “prisoners cannot negotiate” and after advocating an armed struggle that would bring the government to its knees, he decided that the time was right to begin to talk to his oppressors.

    When he initiated his negotiations with the government in 1985, there were many who thought he had lost it. “We thought he was selling out,” says Cyril Ramaphosa, then the powerful and fiery leader of the National Union of Mineworkers. “I went to see him to tell him, What are you doing? It was an unbelievable initiative. He took a massive risk.”

    Mandela launched a campaign to persuade the ANC that his was the correct course. His reputation was on the line. He went to each of his comrades in prison, Kathrada remembers, and explained what he was doing. Slowly and deliberately, he brought them along. “You take your support base along with you,” says Ramaphosa, who was secretary-general of the ANC and is now a business mogul. “Once you arrive at the beachhead, then you allow the people to move on. He’s not a bubble-gum leader — chew it now and throw it away.”

    For Mandela, refusing to negotiate was about tactics, not principles. Throughout his life, he has always made that distinction. His unwavering principle — the overthrow of apartheid and the achievement of one man, one vote — was immutable, but almost anything that helped him get to that goal he regarded as a tactic. He is the most pragmatic of idealists.

    “He’s a historical man,” says Ramaphosa. “He was thinking way ahead of us. He has posterity in mind: How will they view what we’ve done?” Prison gave him the ability to take the long view. It had to; there was no other view possible. He was thinking in terms of not days and weeks but decades. He knew history was on his side, that the result was inevitable; it was just a question of how soon and how it would be achieved. “Things will be better in the long run,” he sometimes said. He always played for the long run.

    No. 3 : Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front

    Mandela loved to reminisce about his boyhood and his lazy afternoons herding cattle. “You know,” he would say, “you can only lead them from behind.” He would then raise his eyebrows to make sure I got the analogy.

    As a boy, Mandela was greatly influenced by Jongintaba, the tribal king who raised him. When Jongintaba had meetings of his court, the men gathered in a circle, and only after all had spoken did the king begin to speak. The chief’s job, Mandela said, was not to tell people what to do but to form a consensus. “Don’t enter the debate too early,” he used to say.

    During the time I worked with Mandela, he often called meetings of his kitchen cabinet at his home in Houghton, a lovely old suburb of Johannesburg. He would gather half a dozen men, Ramaphosa, Thabo Mbeki (who is now the South African President) and others around the dining-room table or sometimes in a circle in his driveway. Some of his colleagues would shout at him — to move faster, to be more radical — and Mandela would simply listen. When he finally did speak at those meetings, he slowly and methodically summarized everyone’s points of view and then unfurled his own thoughts, subtly steering the decision in the direction he wanted without imposing it. The trick of leadership is allowing yourself to be led too. “It is wise,” he said, “to persuade people to do things and make them think it was their own idea.”

    No. 4 : Know your enemy — and learn about his favorite sport

    As far back as the 1960s, Mandela began studying Afrikaans, the language of the white South Africans who created apartheid. His comrades in the ANC teased him about it, but he wanted to understand the Afrikaner’s worldview; he knew that one day he would be fighting them or negotiating with them, and either way, his destiny was tied to theirs.

    This was strategic in two senses: by speaking his opponents’ language, he might understand their strengths and weaknesses and formulate tactics accordingly. But he would also be ingratiating himself with his enemy. Everyone from ordinary jailers to P.W. Botha was impressed by Mandela’s willingness to speak Afrikaans and his knowledge of Afrikaner history. He even brushed up on his knowledge of rugby, the Afrikaners’ beloved sport, so he would be able to compare notes on teams and players.

    Mandela understood that blacks and Afrikaners had something fundamental in common: Afrikaners believed themselves to be Africans as deeply as blacks did. He knew, too, that Afrikaners had been the victims of prejudice themselves: the British government and the white English settlers looked down on them. Afrikaners suffered from a cultural inferiority complex almost as much as blacks did.

    Mandela was a lawyer, and in prison he helped the warders with their legal problems. They were far less educated and worldly than he, and it was extraordinary to them that a black man was willing and able to help them. These were “the most ruthless and brutal of the apartheid regime’s characters,” says Allister Sparks, the great South African historian, and he “realized that even the worst and crudest could be negotiated with.”

    No. 5 : Keep your friends close — and your rivals even closer

    Many of the guests Mandela invited to the house he built in Qunu were people whom, he intimated to me, he did not wholly trust. He had them to dinner; he called to consult with them; he flattered them and gave them gifts. Mandela is a man of invincible charm — and he has often used that charm to even greater effect on his rivals than on his allies.

    On Robben Island, Mandela would always include in his brain trust men he neither liked nor relied on. One person he became close to was Chris Hani, the fiery chief of staff of the ANC’s military wing. There were some who thought Hani was conspiring against Mandela, but Mandela cozied up to him. “It wasn’t just Hani,” says Ramaphosa. “It was also the big industrialists, the mining families, the opposition. He would pick up the phone and call them on their birthdays. He would go to family funerals. He saw it as an opportunity.” When Mandela emerged from prison, he famously included his jailers among his friends and put leaders who had kept him in prison in his first Cabinet. Yet I well knew that he despised some of these men.

    There were times he washed his hands of people — and times when, like so many people of great charm, he allowed himself to be charmed. Mandela initially developed a quick rapport with South African President F.W. de Klerk, which is why he later felt so betrayed when De Klerk attacked him in public.

    Mandela believed that embracing his rivals was a way of controlling them: they were more dangerous on their own than within his circle of influence. He cherished loyalty, but he was never obsessed by it. After all, he used to say, “people act in their own interest.” It was simply a fact of human nature, not a flaw or a defect. The flip side of being an optimist — and he is one — is trusting people too much. But Mandela recognized that the way to deal with those he didn’t trust was to neutralize them with charm.

    No. 6 : Appearances matter — and remember to smile

    When Mandela was a poor law student in Johannesburg wearing his one threadbare suit, he was taken to see Walter Sisulu. Sisulu was a real estate agent and a young leader of the ANC. Mandela saw a sophisticated and successful black man whom he could emulate. Sisulu saw the future.

    Sisulu once told me that his great quest in the 1950s was to turn the ANC into a mass movement; and then one day, he recalled with a smile, “a mass leader walked into my office.” Mandela was tall and handsome, an amateur boxer who carried himself with the regal air of a chief’s son. And he had a smile that was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day.

    We sometimes forget the historical correlation between leadership and physicality. George Washington was the tallest and probably the strongest man in every room he entered. Size and strength have more to do with DNA than with leadership manuals, but Mandela understood how his appearance could advance his cause. As leader of the ANC’s underground military wing, he insisted that he be photographed in the proper fatigues and with a beard, and throughout his career he has been concerned about dressing appropriately for his position. George Bizos, his lawyer, remembers that he first met Mandela at an Indian tailor’s shop in the 1950s and that Mandela was the first black South African he had ever seen being fitted for a suit. Now Mandela’s uniform is a series of exuberant-print shirts that declare him the joyous grandfather of modern Africa.

    When Mandela was running for the presidency in 1994, he knew that symbols mattered as much as substance. He was never a great public speaker, and people often tuned out what he was saying after the first few minutes. But it was the iconography that people understood. When he was on a platform, he would always do the toyi-toyi, the township dance that was an emblem of the struggle. But more important was that dazzling, beatific, all-inclusive smile. For white South Africans, the smile symbolized Mandela’s lack of bitterness and suggested that he was sympathetic to them. To black voters, it said, I am the happy warrior, and we will triumph. The ubiquitous ANC election poster was simply his smiling face. “The smile,” says Ramaphosa, “was the message.”

    After he emerged from prison, people would say, over and over, It is amazing that he is not bitter. There are a thousand things Nelson Mandela was bitter about, but he knew that more than anything else, he had to project the exact opposite emotion. He always said, “Forget the past” — but I knew he never did.

    No. 7 : Nothing is black or white

    When we began our series of interviews, I would often ask Mandela questions like this one: When you decided to suspend the armed struggle, was it because you realized you did not have the strength to overthrow the government or because you knew you could win over international opinion by choosing nonviolence? He would then give me a curious glance and say, “Why not both?”

    I did start asking smarter questions, but the message was clear: Life is never either/or. Decisions are complex, and there are always competing factors. To look for simple explanations is the bias of the human brain, but it doesn’t correspond to reality. Nothing is ever as straightforward as it appears.

    Mandela is comfortable with contradiction. As a politician, he was a pragmatist who saw the world as infinitely nuanced. Much of this, I believe, came from living as a black man under an apartheid system that offered a daily regimen of excruciating and debilitating moral choices: Do I defer to the white boss to get the job I want and avoid a punishment? Do I carry my pass?

    As a statesman, Mandela was uncommonly loyal to Muammar Gaddafi and Fidel Castro. They had helped the ANC when the U.S. still branded Mandela as a terrorist. When I asked him about Gaddafi and Castro, he suggested that Americans tend to see things in black and white, and he would upbraid me for my lack of nuance. Every problem has many causes. While he was indisputably and clearly against apartheid, the causes of apartheid were complex. They were historical, sociological and psychological. Mandela’s calculus was always, What is the end that I seek, and what is the most practical way to get there?

    No. 8 : Quitting is leading too

    In 1993, Mandela asked me if I knew of any countries where the minimum voting age was under 18. I did some research and presented him with a rather undistinguished list: Indonesia, Cuba, Nicaragua, North Korea and Iran. He nodded and uttered his highest praise: “Very good, very good.” Two weeks later, Mandela went on South African television and proposed that the voting age be lowered to 14. “He tried to sell us the idea,” recalls Ramaphosa, “but he was the only [supporter]. And he had to face the reality that it would not win the day. He accepted it with great humility. He doesn’t sulk. That was also a lesson in leadership.”

    Knowing how to abandon a failed idea, task or relationship is often the most difficult kind of decision a leader has to make. In many ways, Mandela’s greatest legacy as President of South Africa is the way he chose to leave it. When he was elected in 1994, Mandela probably could have pressed to be President for life — and there were many who felt that in return for his years in prison, that was the least South Africa could do.

    In the history of Africa, there have been only a handful of democratically elected leaders who willingly stood down from office. Mandela was determined to set a precedent for all who followed him — not only in South Africa but across the rest of the continent. He would be the anti-Mugabe, the man who gave birth to his country and refused to hold it hostage. “His job was to set the course,” says Ramaphosa, “not to steer the ship.” He knows that leaders lead as much by what they choose not to do as what they do.

    Ultimately, the key to understanding Mandela is those 27 years in prison. The man who walked onto Robben Island in 1964 was emotional, headstrong, easily stung. The man who emerged was balanced and disciplined. He is not and never has been introspective. I often asked him how the man who emerged from prison differed from the willful young man who had entered it. He hated this question. Finally, in exasperation one day, he said, “I came out mature.” There is nothing so rare — or so valuable — as a mature man. Happy birthday, Madiba.